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Babble, Blogging 101, Blogging101, luxury, parenting, Re-post, shared responsibilities, spouse, Stay-at-home
Picking apples with my kids 12-years ago almost to the day while I was a ‘stay-at-home’ mom (sort-of. 😉 )
Once upon a time, I ‘stayed at home’ while my husband held outside employment. I took full responsibility for taking care of the kids while going to school full-time and, to make ends meet, working two 25 – 30 hour a week jobs (One I could do from my home while the kids were napping or playing with friends. The other permitted me to bring the kids along with a bevy of art materials and toys.) Ummm…. not exactly a stay at home mom, although that is how both he and I thought of it. Looking back, I clearly and fully pulled my weight but yet… I still felt like I was not being enough, doing enough. If I couldn’t get the laundry done or if supper turned out to be grilled cheese and tomato soup, I felt incredibly guilty. As such, I really appreciated the perspective offered by the author of ‘Being a Stay-at-Home Parent Is a Luxury… for Your Spouse’ which was posted yesterday on Babble.
The other day, I read an article in the Washington Post about a stay-at-home mother who was having a rather hard time adjusting to answering the ever-popular question, “What do you do all day?” now that the kids were at school. …
… As I read the article, I scrolled through the comments, anticipating that there would be some doozies in a post about a stay-at-home mom basically proclaiming that she doesn’t feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing all day when I came across this truly remarkable comment:
“I work full-time, and my husband is a stay at home dad. We have two kids in school full day (8 to 3). Don’t you realize how much easier it is to hold a full-time job when you have someone home with the kids? I can work late and travel when I need to and not worry about the kids. Our weekends are spent relaxing, instead of racing around to get errands and chores done. I can go back to work on Mondays having actually recharged over the weekend. It feels like such a luxury to ME to have a stay at home spouse.”
I was flabbergasted.
Write Out of the Darkness 
You did so much! I am new to staying at home, and it is hard enough. To do all that – kudos to you! I did read the article you referenced earlier and it is a great new way to look at things.
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It is hard but I bet you’re doing better than you think. 🙂 I’m glad you liked that article, too.
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You really weren’t stay at home when you were working two part-time jobs. The “stay at home” parent does provide a great service. I thought to myself I am here for my kids even if I wasn’t the perfect housewife and cook. I, too, started working part-time when my kids got a bit older. That was really difficult because I was still the main emotional anchor for my kids. And I felt the guilt of having to be away from them or have them in day care.
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It is so hard to go back! Although I worked part time jobs, my kids usually came with and never went to daycare. I got a full time job when my kids were 9 & 11 and it was still hard!
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